Grief is Love.
Grief can be over many things that aren’t just death.
Grief can be a part of transitioning though any number of life changes or events. Feeling the loss of something, even if losing it was a choice, is normal and doesn’t necessarily mean you messed up. Or perhaps the loss was not something you chose, and this “new normal” has you grappling with how unfair it feels. Are you missing what life was like before, or the things you were looking forward to that now may not happen?
Although the loss of life resulting from the global pandemic has robbed so many of their loved ones, there is also an enormous element of collective loss that we are all processing to some extent now regardless if someone you knew died. Life as we knew it died, and there is still so much uncertainty about the future for so many. We lost normalcy, plans, school, jobs, milestone celebrations, opportunities, rituals, and chances to hug or say goodbye. Those feelings deserve to be honored.
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“The worst part of holding the memories is not the pain. It's the loneliness of it. Memories need to be shared.”
— Lois Lowry, THE GIVER
Coping with loss can be a lonely and exhaustive process. That project you were working on now just feels empty and sits dusty on your desk. Maybe that project is actually your job, and yeah it’s not going great. The people who love you say they’re supportive (and they are), but you aren’t quite getting what you need from them and you worry that you’re becoming “too much.” When you’re able to muster up an appetite, you’re chocking down a sad salad. Or, the only way you know how to hug your insides is to sink into another warm bowl of mac n’ cheese at midnight. (I was a combination of both). You’re wondering if you will ever wake up and enjoy how you’re feeling again.
“Some things can’t be fixed. They can only be carried.”
— Unknown
Or maybe you’re waking up in the morning and burning the proverbial candle at both ends all day, saying yes to everything, exhausting yourself and crashing at night because that’s better than having the feelings that are f**king terrifying catch up with you. Honestly I’m out of breath just reading that. But, you’re FINE, right? There’s no use crying over something you can’t change…right?